Things overheard in my ap classes:

natrasharomanoff:

• “Dude. I’m going to get so hammered this weekend.”
• “I have to read crime and punishment by Monday- I’ll just do it all Sunday night" 
• “If you could get full ride to any college by killing a man, would you do it?” “In a second.”
• [A guy showing a girl how to put notes into a calculator in order to cheat on the AP calc BC test]  “My morals have crashed like the Russian economy after the collapse of the USSR.”
• “What class is this?” “AP FIGHT CLUB”
• “What if we all just didn’t show up for graduation?”
•  “It is my unalienable right to not be here right now. I’m entitled to the pursuit of happiness and this isn’t it.” 
• “I’ll pay you $15 to do my physics homework.” “Shit, I’ll do it for free if you do my lit homework.”
• [1st hour AP Human Geo: A girl pours a bottle of mountain dew and a can of monster into a thermos, shakes it up, and drinks it in one go.] “I have tests in every hour today and I got 15 minutes of sleep. Desperate times, ya know?”
• “But if you’re valedictorian, and she’s salutoriain, and the six of us are top 2%, then who’s driving the bus?”
• “so. did anyone do the calc homework?” *chorus of no’s* “you know, i don’t know why I even asked.”
• “maybe if we all pretend we don’t know what we’re doing, he’ll move the calculus test.” “Honey, I don’t even need to pretend.”