violet26rose

women talk to men using their customer service voice and don’t even get paid for it

my child

citizen-zero:

lil-bitchnugget:

slumberinggirl:

libertarirynn:

glocc-blocc:

0ctostim:

Male positivity? In my branding? It’s more likely than you think

I love this

Y E S. FINALLY

AXE realized their target demographic are the preteen and teen boys who over-apply their product and decided to do something good for these impressionable youths

today we will eat at deodorant

whateverbutgood:

sparkafterdark:

tyrannosarcophagous:

nerdgul:

sparkafterdark:

witchchad:

totallyfubar:

sparkafterdark:

momunofu:

dadurl:

momunofu:

chillin on a Saturday night

Calm down jojo

you’re right, I am looking a little stiff here, I should try to relax

You call that “chillin”?

Everyone knows the best way to relax is with a good book and a warm drink

I dunno, man,

sometimes I like just relaxing on my laptop

get on my level boys

Unfortunately to “get on your level” I’d need a boat trip to the Mariana Trench and a pair of cinderblock shoes.

Thats gotta be the sickest burn ive ever read holy fuck

this post appears once every million years

I kept hoping someone else would one up me and I’d have to escalate even further but nobody has.

oh my god, I have only seen this post on screenshots

this is A DREAM COMING TRUE

jedda-martele:

pidgevspigeon:

birdrhetorics:

my great-grandfather had to leave italy in the 20′s because he hit a fascist with a tuba, so if you think I am going to take this sitting down you are going to have to catch these hands and also this tuba

Fun story my Great Great Grandma left Germany in the 1920s because she had family in the US and could get citizenship pretty easily and once she was over in the US she then smuggled over 15 jewish families out by forging family documents so now my aunts are currently in the process of trying to tell the real ones from the fake ones because my great gran just died and there are legally over 100 surviving descendants but we know that math is a lil screwy.

Sometimes a family is you, your kids, your grandkids, your great grandkids, and the 15 Jewish families you helped smuggle out of Nazi Germany.

setheverman:

impossiblerebelblaze:

I’m starting the ‘genuine setheverman appreciation club’ because yea I know hes a meme but I think hes genuinely funny and a legitimately cool dude, reblog to join the club

holy shit this made me so happy

transmerry:

me, long ago, perfectly innocent: hm, i don’t have a lot of followers, but i wanna perform well for them so i’m going to construct a good queue system and post content that they’ll enjoy !!

me, now:

gaypeopletwitter:

bekstek:

mintike:

IM GOING TO STAB MYSELF IN THE FOOT I JUST SENT MY ENGLISH TEACHER MY ESSAY ON HAMLET AND IT WAS STILL NAMED “the fresh prince of denmark yo holla”

oh man, i love receiving unedited final drafts:

cracks me up every time

tyrannosaurus-rex:

mineyoung-churyuu:

hubriscomplex:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

8ddict:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

captainlordauditor:

some iconic dialogue that sounds like its from the great canon of literature but are actually from memes

I will face God and walk backwards into Hell

“I’ll do whatever you want” “then perish”

I have been through hell and come out singing

feel free to add more!

There are no gods here

Do I look like the kind of man who dies

God’s dead and soon we will be too

I thought there were no heroes left in this world

• you kneel before my throne unaware that it was built on lies

Impudent of you to assume I will meet a mortal end

This is hell’s territory and I am beholden to no gods

Bury me shallow, I’ll be back

– take this gift, for the gods surely won’t

God wishes he were me

One day, you will be face to face with whatever saw fit to let you exist in the universe, and you will have to justify the space you’ve filled

Violence for Violence is the Rule of Beasts