penetrieren:

im just out here trying to eat fruit and stay moisturized and drink
water and recover from childhood trauma and protect my vibes, man

lmaonade:

me: *walking*

my cat: i am going to run in front of you. i am going to sprint in front of you so fast mid step and you are going to punt me into the sun

me: okay sir yes sir 

daughterhood:

me: plip plop plip plop

ginger-ale-official:

bayoen:

bayoen:

rememner the episode of icarly when they tried to make a lit up billboard thing on the side of the road and it said PLEASE GO TO ICARLY.COM or something but a bunch of the letters burned out so it was jusg said PEE ON CARL

Am i gonna have to find out that dan Schneider had a piss kink too