Author: violet26rose

naryrising:

masterwayfinders:

charlesoberonn:

the-porter-rockwell:

mojave-wasteland-official:

anotherjadedwriter:

anotherjadedwriter:

history fucked me up

oxford was built and operational as a college before the rise of the mayans and cleopatra lived in a time nearer to pizza hut’s invention than to the pyramids being built

I need a noncomprehensive history book that covers Known World History in time periods, like “in this century, all this shit was happening concurrently” and not just all spread out so I have to piece it together like some unpaid uneducated scholar

Mongols were fighting Samurai in Japan and Knights in Europe at the same time. 

Star Wars a New Hope came out the same year as the last execution in France by Guillotine. 

Abraham Lincoln and Edgar Allen Poe were friends in their early 20′s. 

When the Great Pyramids were being built there were areas that still had Woolly Mammoths roaming. 

Harvard University didn’t teach calculus in its first few years after being established because calculus wasn’t invented yet.

Nintendo was founded two years after the Eiffel Tower was constructed

This is the book you want: The Timetables of History – going year by year (or in the earlier sections, at least century by century) and showing you what was going on in various parts of the world in several categories (e.g. Politics, Literature, Science, etc.)  Super useful for visualizing what events were happening at the same time.

mjalti:

me, drinking tea: pls leaf water….sage my body of the demons of my past…steam my colon…let me know peace

me, drinking coffee: I beg of u bean juice….cleanse me of the curse of sleep….make my heart beat like a tribal drum in ceremony….let me conquer this building

saltyseaz:

jjayabrams:

congalineofdurin:

brookeawooka:

unpicasso:

mutant-aesthetic:

liquored-up-rifleman:

mutant-aesthetic:

zahnegott:

wroughtornot:

did-you-kno:

On the Pottermore website,
J.K. Rowling explains how wizards poop.
There’s an excerpt about the Chamber
of Secrets that says wizards didn’t need
toilets because they ‘simply relieved
themselves where they stood,
and vanished the evidence.’ Source Source 2

i fucking hate jk rowling so much because years and years after this franchise has ended she is still continuing trying to make it bad to the point where she said that every character in harry potter canonically shits themselves and then casts a shit vanishing spell 

fuck this is b a d

This reminds me of the hufflepuff group masturbation tweets

The what?

Just imagine you’re taking a test for potions with Snape and the guy sitting next to you just fucking shits himself the nastiest, slimiest shit of his life out of stress. And you literally have to sit there with a straight face while fuckin Todd JingleJangles cleans himself up in the dead quiet room with some stupid ass line like “vanish me poopum” and you just gotta live with the knowledge that some kid just shit himself beside you during a fucking test.

Listen I work in an office with a honeycomb setup, which means I share a desk with THREE OTHER PEOPLE, and I thought I was so slick reading tumblr all secrety and I had to PUT MY HEAD DOWN so as not to fucking explode into laughter because of vanish me poopum I have TEARS in my eyes and I had to hide this from THE WHOLE VICINITY because I CANNOT explain that

how do i unsee a post

Why do they have bathrooms then?? Wtf